Spa Serenity in Orlando, Florida

Massage Parlor Details: Fellas, I joined RM because I just got ripped off at this place and I want to help some of you avoid having the same thing happen to you. First, there is NO WAY "Wangsta's" review is real. I've been a regular at my share of parlors, am a decent looking guy and a good tipper at $40-$100. Never have I even come close to receiving a BBBJ. His tootsie-pop story is absurd because the woman I had today at Spa Serenity (which I'm pretty sure is the same woman he describes) could hardly communicate that she's lived in FL for two weeks never mind understand the oral sexual overtones of a candy commercial from 30 years ago.

I decided to try SS today and for the first time in my years of seeking stress-relief at these joints, I did NOT receive an HE. I wanted to grab my 40 bucks right out of this chick's pocket but did not. Here's how it went:

The man at the front desk wasn't particularly welcoming but that's ok, we aren't there to see him, are we? I paid $75 for a one hour massage. Thought about the $15 for a body wash but opted not to since I had just showered before I left the house. Being my first time at SS I wanted to make a good impression in the hygiene department.

A woman came out and guided me to one of several private rooms. She was on the heavy side, big-breasted with a bad complexion and a grade A muffin top. She chewed a Major League wad of gum loudly and with great gusto. I asked what her name was. Sounded like Lilly or Lillian. I couldn't understand exactly what she said next but after she left me alone in the room I went ahead and stripped down, wrapping a towel around my waist. The soft, relaxing music was almost loud enough to drown out the bustling Domino's Pizza next door.

She returned moments later and motioned for me to lay face down on the table…pretty standard. She worked through the basic motions using a TON of oil on me, I mean, it was dripping down my sides. Maybe that's your kind of thing but it ain't mine. The tiniest bit of friction, please. She used a lot of forearm on me too as if she was an offensive lineman blocking a furious pass rush!! Perhaps she thought I was Brian Urlacher blitzing her quarterback. I thought, "Ok, this is interesting, she's kind of bruiser." I was game.

She allowed me to touch her thighs and ass but nothing else. A few times towards the end of the massage I thought, "Well, at least I'll get an HE out of the deal". I felt that the $40 I had left out for her to see at the beginning of our session would assure me of that. She got me to attention briefly a few times but would not spend any real time working me. Finally, she said something like, "Ok, all finished." I said, "Really?" I was baffled! No HE?? I guess seeing my puzzled look, she said something along the lines of, "It's your first time, I give you free bath". I figured, well, that's how they roll here at SS…you get the HE on the wash table. Once again, I was game.

She motioned for me to stand up. She put this towel-skirt thingy around my waist, opened the door and down the hall I went with bruiser guiding me along. I laid on the table as she scrubbed me down. For whatever reason, she felt it necessary to get the crack of my ass smelling like a goddamned bouquet of roses. I mean, it was like she was sanding away rust and getting me ready for primer. Sorry for the guy she used that sponge on next! (Note to self: Consider bringing own sponge to these places). She rolled me over on my back and teased me to attention once again. I thought, "Jeez, finally she's gonna light this candle" but she didn't!!! Arrgh!! You're kiddin' me!!! Nope! Not kiddin'!!! She motioned to stand up and she rinsed me off front and back, flag fully raised and ready for battle! But no, no. She toweled me off and back down the hall she led me, naked save for my towel-skirt thingy.

I was beginning to get the picture: She was done. That was it. She motioned for me to put my clothes on and she left the room. I was going to stick 20 of the 40 dollar tip back in my pocket but alas, the muffin topped left tackle had already recovered my fumble: the 40 bucks was gone, fellas. A moment later she returned with a fricking Dixie cup of water. REALLY?!? A Dixie cup of water to chase the bitter taste of being "had"? Ah, how thoughtful, Lilly. You are a dream-come-true, sweetheart. I wasn't about to get confrontational with her for fear of Kato from the front desk (I don't mean OJ's Kato) sneaking up on me triggering some trap door and sending me into a life of work-camp slavery on some blizzardy, far away planet. Instead I said to Lilly, "So, you don't do happy endings here?" She smiled, pinched her thumb and forefinger together and replied, "My English very small".

Don't waste your time here, gents. Happy travels.

I should have had pizza next door instead of visiting this place.

Massage Parlor Details: front door guy was not nice/polite, didn't even smile to greet his customer...he may be the owner, he doesn't even care about customer's comments and satisfaction...I asked for young lady and he said "next time"...what the heck was that...that too after getting my money...he doesn't even care if the customer comes back or not. He may not have young girls, either way stay away from this place...find other..

first time at this place....old lady, no brest, fluffy ass, not pretty, very little english..hard to communicate.... I asked for young one, I was told next-time. I already paid so I had to use the service, massage was ok, rest was bad, asked for BJ-- deined, asked for sex --denied, just a handjob that too without a smile in face..didn't even ask to kiss, touched her pussy but...uggg I regret now that I did....uhhhh....was even hesitating o undress...I am not gonna go here again, I will another place, heard lots of other better place in Orlando...I tipped $20, didn't want to but thought I should..

Massage Parlor Details: Easy to find.

Paid the house $75 for an hour massage. I would rate the actual massage a 7 out of 10, and the handy at the end was great. She offered a table shower and I had just showered so I declined. Nonetheless, she was 5'5", long black hair, great tits and a nice ass too. She stripped during the handy, but I think since she didn't recognize me she was a bit reluctant to go further. Although she did a damn good job and lingered after with the hot towel clean up. I tipped her $40 and she was so happy she kissed me and asked if I would come back tomorrow...hell, I'm used to the Vegas rates of $100 for the good places and while this wasn't the best, it was good and I am damn sure she'd have take $20 and been happy! I reccommend.

While SS's talent level may have gone down a little, I find their service to be much the same if not better. The past two times I've been, I've gotten two different girls that looked a bit homely, but gave a fantastic massage. One girl was probably 40 and the other was around 28 or so. I will admit that when the 40 yr old came out I was very disappointed. I wasn't attracted to her, but her skills were amazing. Finally when it was time for the HE, I mentioned how it sure would be nice if she'd show me how many licks it would take to get to the center of a tootsie roll. Lo and behold, she actually did it! And did it it till completion! Just goes to show you that sometimes you can't judge a book by its cover. I'm sure glad I stayed versus walking out when I first saw her!

The 2nd girl, the younger one, was actually much more attractive than the first. Probably about a 6.5 on the everyday girl scale. You certainly wouldn't have been embarrassed to have been seen with her in public, but she wasn't super model material either. She did a great massage and then she showed me how much she likes to surf body to body in her birthday suit. A very nice HE with body painting. I must say that while it does seem that looks have gone down a bit, the service can still be found at SS. Besides, I never could get Kim except for this one time. Every time I asked for her, there was some type of excuse why she wasn't there. We all know she was sitting in the next room the whole time.